It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
