he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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