if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
