they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
