why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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