We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
