What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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