So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
