im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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