Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
