he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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