i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
