Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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