I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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