Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
