whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
