yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
