maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
