No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
