and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she pinky promised me she was 18
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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