does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
