i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
