Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
