the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize