So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize