i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What a dumb baby whore.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
