just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
