He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
