I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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