Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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