i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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