She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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