Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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