My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
