Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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