why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
