Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
