Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
