She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
