I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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