Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
