Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
