It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Everything about him screamed your future.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he fucked my hip out of place.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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