had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
