Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
