It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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