was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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