O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
