is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
