it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
