All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize