Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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