He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
