I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
