you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
