Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
