That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
