By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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