before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
