Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
