on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
