I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
two words...techno handjob
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
