I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
