I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
