And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
