Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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