If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
